Nothing says “we perform together on a regular basis and have achieved a sublime rapport as a chamber ensemble” quite like a badly-composed collage of individual promotional photos.

Hagen Quartet

Once the whole band had contracted narcolepsy, it became impossible to get a picture of them all with their eyes open.

ESQ's Intimate LettersIt was hard to be intimate when they could no longer stand to be in the same room.

Mozart Trios

It was in the contract. What part of “at my feet” did they not understand?

Beethoven's Triple Concerto

Not organic? He’d put a plant on it and everything. They were going to have to be more specific.

Mendelssohn Trios

It wasn’t until somebody called her bluff that she discovered you really could make an album cover out of pictures you’d found on Facebook.

Trout Quintet


Brahms Quartets


…3…Brahms Sonatas2… Ok. Fine. It was Renaud. Truth be told, the shame was so unbearable that he didn’t even want to be seen with himself any more.

Yuval Trio

She was right. It was much less awkward once she’d moved them closer together.



Post a comment
  1. June 9, 2010

    I’ve often wondered if these aggressively unappealing covers are some sort of niche marketing tool, that the more homely the cover design is, the more “authentic” the music-making must be. If they can put such a lousy cover on it, the music must be amazing.

    Perhaps I’ve been conditioned by years of collecting records of 20th Century music, and so now I’m suspicious of any album with a cover that doesn’t seem ugly enough.

    • properdiscord #
      June 9, 2010

      Totally. You’re no good unless you’re too good to need marketing. It’s like behaving like an asshole to check that people really like you.

  2. June 9, 2010

    I believe the Hagens are all siblings, which is what accounts for the shape of their eyes!

  3. Jimmy #
    June 10, 2010

    Is it just me, or do most of them look like they’d end up in the paper and the last line would read: ‘…and then turned the gun on himself’?

  4. FranJGuy #
    March 29, 2011

    Oh, how I laughed! The Hagen Quartett could be the opening credits to Dallas… Bobby, Jock, Miss Ellie and JR.

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