What are they really saying on that conference call?
I don’t have any music for you = I haven’t heard it
This hasn’t been mastered yet = they’re still fiddling with it
We’re really excited about this release = Our expectations are bigger than our budget
You have to see them live = the record isn’t impressive at all
This is a huge priority = we’ve spent a fortune on this and we plan to ignore the fact that you think it’s terrible
We’re expecting the story to build post-release = We have no plan
We’re coming to you very early on this = We hope you’ll come up with a plan
This act is building a lot of buzz = We can’t name a single major media outlet that has mentioned them
We’ve got a great opportunity for partnership = We don’t have the budget to do this properly
This is a supergroup = We hadn’t heard of any of these people until last week
We know this is going to be huge = We desperately need to recoup all the money we spent on this
Building on the success of their last album = A poor imitation of their last album
Prodigy = promising youngster
Legendary artist = hasbeen
We have an NPR hit confirmed for release week = The NPR feature will run two months before (or after) release date
We have a PBS special airing in the fall = You mom will want this. You’ll hate it.
They’re big in Germany = Run while there’s still time
Our “target street date” is… = It will be leaked by…
We don’t know who leaked it = We know exactly who leaked it
I don’t want to talk about initial orders = This is going to be a disaster
We have a deluxe edition = We changed the cover and doubled the price
It has been remastered = It sounds the same but louder
It has been digitally remastered = It sounds the same but much louder
It has been digitally remastered by the original producer = There was nothing wrong with it the first time
Listen dude, when my management team call you please do not record the conversation. I’m embarrassed now.
Pure genius. I think I’ve heard (or said) ALL of these! Spot on.
Deja Vu FANTASTIC
Almost pitch perfect. It hasn’t been mastered yet actually means “not loud enough yet.”
This appeals to a very hot demographic = No one you know will buy it.
They’re huge on YouTube = People who like videos of water skiing squirrels and dogs on skateboards will love this album.
Award-winning = Their last CD sold 150 units.