I generally try not to make fun of crossover acts, but it’s Christmas, and this is my gift to myself.

La Voce

Epic Records, 2010: “We’ve successfully poached one of Decca’s most derivative crossover artists. Why mess with perfection? Let’s use the same art direction as his debut album* and just translate the title into Italian.

* Stand on a bridge, put one hand in your pocket. Look smug and confused at the same time, like this one from ten years ago…

The Voice

Meanwhile, in another office just around the corner…

The Platinum Collection

Decca, 2010: “OMG. I can’t believe they actually signed our sloppy seconds.. Naturally, we’ll wait until they’ve spent a fortune on TV advertising and then schedule a greatest hits collection on the same day as their new release, but that just doesn’t seem enough this time. Maybe we should put a sticker on it that points out just how insubstantial all his other stuff is. Now, does anybody have a picture of him with his hands in his pockets?


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