When I started writing this blog, I promised myself that I wouldn’t post anything just for the sake of having something to say. It’s a rule that I’ve broken a few times, but it has never worked out well, and I’ve learned that every time it seems like I’m never going to have an idea again, something magical comes along.

I’m between jobs and there’s nobody pitching me half-assed ideas, so I was starting feel like I had a case of bloggers block until an amazing bit of spam from Universal stepped in to save the day.

The task is simple. Use the comments to provide a caption to this image:



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  1. Anonymous #
    November 3, 2010

    “This is really important, so get the best picture you can of the orchestra and the best picture you can find of the soloists, and stick them together using Photoshop.”

  2. Anonymous #
    November 3, 2010

    Renée loved singing with him, but his “busy hands” were becoming increasingly wearing.

  3. Anonymous #
    November 3, 2010

    Renée sat up in bed. Maybe it wasn’t a dream! Who let all these people in here?

  4. Anonymous #
    November 3, 2010

    Strapless bra not working? Have to hold “the girls” up yourself, or have a helpful friend do it? Don’t let this happen to you!

  5. Anonymous #
    November 3, 2010

    “although Renee loved Dimitri, she trusted him to much. She never saw it coming when he went to suck out her soul.”

  6. Anonymous #
    November 3, 2010

    Dima was trying to avoid yet another wardrobe malfunction.

  7. Anonymous #
    November 3, 2010

    Renée knew her fate was sealed as the biggest star in Classical (and Classical crossover) when the creepy villain from those horrible Stieg Larsson books tried to eat her in the middle of her performance.

  8. November 3, 2010

    She shuddered at the touch of his clammy hands and pledged to herself that for the sake of her art she could, she must, endure, but when the ancient, helmet-haired creature loosed its gaping mouth and began to sing she knew that all was lost.

  9. November 3, 2010

    “Ooh, I don’t like the sound of his voice. When do I get to sing?”

  10. November 3, 2010

    “His left hand touched her arm, while his right hand made her gasp.”

  11. tohm #
    November 3, 2010

    “No Renee! I can never allow you to sing pop again… think of the children!”

  12. Jimmy #
    November 4, 2010

    Renee: ‘Dude! Wrong hole! Again!’

  13. November 4, 2010

    Thinks: “Are we nearly there yet?”

    [Well, it is an odyssey…]

  14. November 4, 2010

    𝄃𝄞 ♯ You’re standing on my foot. On my foot, my foot. Ooooooon myyyyyyy fooooooooot. 𝄂

  15. November 4, 2010

    Leslie Nielson’s breath has not improved much for the latest Naked Gun film

  16. November 4, 2010

    “Gosh, how I detest having to pretend as though I enjoy the quality of the sound he produces! When does this piece end?”

  17. Steve #
    November 4, 2010

    So my manager says, “Go ahead, Renee, just try it. You might even enjoy it. C’mon, doll, how bad could it be?” …. He is SOOO fired!!

  18. November 4, 2010

    Fleming thinks: “If I just wait a little bit longer, I can hold on to what’s left of my professional integrity which currently languishes in tatters…”

  19. Anonymous #
    November 5, 2010

    After 43 years, at last there’s a sequel to Polanski’s “The Fearless Vampire Killers” – for some reason, Komeda did not want to get involved in the soundtrack

  20. November 6, 2010

    Despite valiantly trying to think about baseball, Dmitri was dismayed to find the photographer captured his ‘O-Face’.

  21. Robquill #
    November 13, 2010

    The gentlman prefers to sing while the lady is in dist(d)ress!

  22. Stafford #
    November 14, 2010

    Sostenuto con amore

  23. Morgan #
    November 15, 2010

    Oh, how she wished he’d had a tic tac.

  24. Leo James #
    January 14, 2011

    Hvorostovsky (all in a Wagnerian delivery): Renee! A violinist on the second desk peers into deine Brüste!!

    Renee (much the same): Ach!! I happen to (rising major third) like (falling down the ocatve) das!

  25. February 21, 2011

    At the critical moment, Renee remembered she’d forgotten to pick up the dry cleaning.

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